The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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