I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
