the condom got lost in my hair
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
