How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
