capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
where am i from again
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
