Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Michael Bay diarrhea
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I deserve this hangover.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
