oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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