is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We were destined to go to rehab together
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
