Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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