She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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