A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
