Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
