i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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