It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
