Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
