That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Couch. On fire.
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