I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
True but thats because hes a fetus.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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