the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
