im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize