I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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