I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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