we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
