I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
