Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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