I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
