why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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