BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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