I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My penis needs a shock collar
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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