dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
