Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He? As in you personified your dick?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
