new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
