Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
