I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
