last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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