My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
