I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
