i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
