I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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