just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
