am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
