I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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