is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
