Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
