Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
