Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize