it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
