You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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