so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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