I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
