so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
