singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
