Just cropdusted the office
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
