so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up under a house in Key West
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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