He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
