their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
