I wish I could punch you in the face.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
