I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
