Im at strip club and am horny
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
