11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize