did you get engaged???
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
